First installment, Chapter One"The book"

A nice wind travels through my window into my dwelling. I look out into the cool june night, lightening flashing in the sky. Form here I see mostly cars in the parking lot of our apt building, but a beautiful moon is looking at me from above. The dark cumulus clouds move rapidly across the horizon. It looks like it's going to be quite the downpour, I smile. A nice long storm along with a good mystery novel to intrige my spirit for the evening. I open the window to smell the fresh air, it definetly smells like rain. I sit back in my blue Lazy Boy, a special directly from Goodwill put my feet up and open to page one.

It's your normal mystery book, I guess. A young girl mysteriously disappears from her home without warning. I'm trying to settle into it, but it just isn't keeping my upmost attention. I get up again to peer out the window. The rain hasn't even begun, lightening is present still. I sigh, sit back on my blue boy, and continue to read.

Sara is lost in the woods. She doesn't know why she is there, or who might be able to help her. She has been dumped by her captures, and abandon in the middle of a gale. The character, my character has to find shelter out of the cold. It's like Snowhite who finds the dwarfs to save her from the evil forest, I laugh. I must be the one the joke is played on because Sara knows how to make a shelter. She gathers up wood, and using the string in her back pack she makes a small hutch to sleep under. I set the book down, how though is she going to keep warm, find her way home, get out of this mess? How will her family ever find her? I want to put this piece of literature on the shelf, this is nothing new, nothing I haven't read before in fact I find it rather dull so why do I keep on reading? Still I continue on page by page as my roof is pelted with hail.

Waking up this morning was a bit hard, sara thought. I am so hungry how do I find food, water, and how am I to get out of this place? I must look for somone, surely there is a road around here somewhere over the rainbow. Get out a compass I think to her as I turn the page.

Sara searches for her watched, the one with the compass on it, so predictable, I think. Then begins to think about, as well as calculate which way the nearest highway could be. She didn't see her kidnappers nor know why they had even taken her. She didn't have any money, folks, or anything just Sara. Walking in the woods amongst the trees isn't so bad really, she tells herself. Then she notices her missing Jewel, a ring from her gradmother gone. Ok, I have to concentrate on home, the ring or home? A beautiful ring it had been of red Rubies with gold that grandmother always told her to keep with her. It was a heirloam not worth fortunes.

I set the book down, as my stomach growls "ok, ok some food for you. Milk and cookies will have to do. I just baked some this afternoon when it was warm sunny plus lots of good fuzzy come with it. I walk into my kitchen rather small it is, on the counter is my little bear jar filled with yummies. I grab two big chocolete chip cookies out, then get a large glass of milk. "Ok Tummy that should shut you up for a while," I think outloud.

At this point I was quite annoyed with this mystery, ready to throw it into the fire. Ha, Ha, I had no fire to throw this ever aggrevating book into. I eat my cookies while listening to the liquid rushing towards the earth.

I mean yah, Sara is just going to walk right to the highway, what else can she do? She has no radio, no cell phone, cell phones weren't even present in that day and age, I mean this book was written in the fifties for god sakes! How old would that make Sara?

I opened the book to finish, It was pretty short. I had about three chapters to go.......

Hope has been in my mind, in my heart, in this world, but it is not where it should be. It is not in our goverment who instead of fighting needs to work with one another in order to make this world better for everyone. People need a living wage. They need to be able to get a good education without it affedting their ability to get a home because of student loans. Our education must be more affordable everything must not be about the American dollar, but about us. Until this happens evil is here.... it's walking around with us for the devil wants us to hurt those who are below us, not hand them help, give them hope, faith, peace like our lord would want the people of this earth to do. All the poor have is each other, you are suppose to be pleased if you have a roof over your head even if it is not your own. If it is not your own someone else is benifiting and you have nothing is that right? someone to make money off another who otherwise would have no place to live, or should we be grateful to landlords who get lots of cash because without them people would be homeless? Are we suppose to worship the one who gives us crumes and will we go to hell for not doing so? Are the poor evil because they don't appriciate what the rich does for them? I wish I could answer these questions. I wish I could have some kind of accomplishment besides love, and working on a degree. Everything seems so far away, bae patient they say 27 years old, how many more years do I have to be patient to earn a decent wage to live, pay what I owe, to have one child, is this selfish?

Snuggling in my bed, I move my feet beneath the covers, it feels nice and cool among the humidity of the morning just waving into my room through the window. I try to wake up, and roll over half way in and out of dreams, wishing I could stay their safe with them in my own bed, my mind full of hope that these things can remain that I won't have to awake to the world facing all that it holds before me. My alarm clock swaks like a siren, and I sit up. I've got to get up, and to work, I tell myself this out loud. I have to pay for everything that is to sustain my life, only the air I breath is free certainly they will start charging me for that also. I turn the light on next to my bed wondering what I should wear, what is clean, does it smell good, do I have to do more laundry latter? I love this apt. and I hate that it holds me to the land lord who I pay each and every month. It seems like somehow all of the money I make goes for things that are needed, but maybe I do spend to much on myself a book here, a CD there, coffe, or a nice evening out, it all adds up to money. I shake off my sleep and grab a pair of jeans and a blouse with red leaves on it, good enough I say to myself slogging into the bathroom. I know I better take a shower or I'll feel like I am in a daze still sleeping until I make it home for dinner. I turn the shower on and head to the living room to grab my Madonna CD. She always wakes me up, and makes me feel better with her CD American Life, I love that song nothing fails, it give me hope that I can make it through my day of hanging clothing, putting it out, and or running the cash register. It is rare that I price hard goods, or am able to put them away on the retail floor. When this happens I get real exicted smile and squeal. Everyone things I'm crazy and lame for wanting a change and loving the fact that these things are things I can enjoy. I can muze through the merchindise of used goods seeking out that one special item I might buy if it is left on the floor after the 24 hr period in which we will not be fired if we buy it. I don't like the rule myself, but what can you do corporate always rains and wins!!!! I step out of the shower towel off, put on my wonderful lavender powder which is suppose to relax me, look in the mirror, and think I need to lose more weight. It's probably what every women who doesn't look like a super model thinks to herself, but we all do it. I air dry a little, grab my jeans stuff em on, then comb out my hair before added the other essentials, Man they would scream if I showed up topless, Ha Ha. I brush my hair pull it back, and brush my teeth. Then I manage to make my lunch which consists of a cup of apple sauce, usually a granola bar, juice, and maybe a treat or something. I make sure I check the weather channel waiting for my morning call from a lover, who I haven't seen in a while, I sigh as I turn off the televison. He must be cooking on the line still, or have forgotten. He's always busy in the summer at the restaraunt. Thank goodness he cooks because I am not good in the kitchen. I turn off the T.V. make sure everything is in a decent order and lock the door behind me. It's another day, another dollar ladies, and what do I do it for? The man I love, College, and my own self respect. I wonder if I will ever move out of that apt, can I make my life more then the spec it is. Then I see those lives I"ve touched, the little blessing like those customers that tell me not to give up on school. I do have those negitive moments where I think they don't know me or how I feel. I just keep telling myself: get up in the mornings, go to work, believe in yourself, stand up tall look them in the eye and know you are true not only to yourself, but man kind. It's what keeps me going, from sinking in the weight of my tears when I think nothing is moving ahead like it should be. I have to ask myself is this worth it, my soul screams yes, but my doubts are still there. They will be until I make it out alive, at least with my degree in hand, and a pat on the back from my family and friends. I wonder who will be left then, how old will I be, will I be able to still have my little girl I dream of? This makes me want to cry, my little Arcadia who I dream of. I"m scard to be a mom yes, but I want my child to have the best. This is why I struggle so, this is why I feel so deeply about my education. I know I am the only one who can make my dreams reality. It is so hard for me not to be upsett that other people's ride in life has come so easily, or faster then mine. They say you appriciate it much more then those it just comes to, I don't know if that is true. I only know that I hope Karma, God, my Goddess, or someone out there loves me enough to be my angel, to stand by me, and keep me safe in my journey.